Nonviolent Communication

Most of us have been taught to communicate passively, critically, or manipulatively––and that’s so normal to us that we don’t even realize we’re doing it. That is, until we find ourselves feeling powerless to get our needs met, repeating the same conflicts with those we love, and feeling alone or trapped in our relationships. The nonviolent framework provides a systematic approach by teaching us to be present to our own needs, feelings, and requests without blaming others or internalizing shame.

NVC is the practice of making an observation, expressing a feeling, then a need and making a request. Using NVC takes the charge out of communication which can be so painful and threatening to the survival of the relationship. It allows people to take ownership of their experience and not direct their feelings towards others, which usually only escalates conflict and leads to breakdowns. Utilizing NVC makes hearing one another much easier by staying calm & cool.

NVC is the practice of making an observation, expressing a feeling, then a need and making a request. Using NVC takes the charge out of communication which can be so painful and threatening to the survival of the relationship. It allows people to take ownership of their experience and not direct their feelings towards others, which usually only escalates conflict and leads to breakdowns. Utilizing NVC makes hearing one another much easier by staying calm & cool.

I have found nonviolent communication to be extremely helpful in clearer and more accurate expression. Additionally, the use of nonviolent communication bypasses many of the standard miscommunications and perceived offenses of standard conversation, facilitating information flow without argument. Interestingly, the use of nonviolent communication may also make the speaker appear more charismatic and persuasive.

Do you want to resolve conflicts - with yourself and others - in ways that honor your deepest needs? Do you want solutions that work for you and also meet the needs of others? Nonviolent Communication is about how to make that happen. It's about creating the kind of relationship that helps to meet, or at least honor, everyone's needs. It doesn't always get us what we want, but it greatly increases the chances of truly satisfying our underlying needs.

Nonviolent Communication (aka NVC or Compassionate Communication) is a unique and powerful process for inspiring connection and action with others. Communication is the backbone of human relationships, even the relationship with ourselves. As a therapist trained in NVC, I help my clients learn compassionate, clear, communication skills that can contribute to their well-being, empowerment, and connection in every area of their lives.

Communication styles and patterns are learned. We can learn new ones and unlearn what doesn't serve us. If the goal is to achieve harmony and progressive and positive outcomes as a result of communication, learning how to do this so our approach is effective, has integrity, and the goals are clearly defined. It's incredibly frustrating to attempt to communicate with someone important in our lives only to be met with defensiveness and a lack of receptivity. Let's improve the outcomes together.

I was introduced to Nonviolent Communication (NVC) about 17 years ago and have been drawing upon the practice ever since. NVC is a way of perceiving one's self, one another and the world with empathy--truly listening with an open heart. I am inspired by NVC's stance that humans share common needs. In my work, I listen for those needs; to be understood, to have choice, or be considered, to name a few. Learning to connect with our feelings and needs creates space for healing.

If you have struggles communicating with your family, friends, spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend, boss, teacher, neighbor, etc. you will benefit from learning nonviolent communication (NVC). NVC is being used around the world to aid in communication and to decrease conflict. NVC is composed of four parts: observations, feelings, needs, requests. When you focus on your own experience, the receiver hears the message without blame or criticism (and are less likely to become defensive).

Communication is a struggle for many people. We want to feel heard and hear others. I use NVC to help people learn how to communicate better and to listen with love.

Using the Marshall Rosenberg model of NVC, I assist Clients with affective communication. Using "I" statements and having a relationship with their own feelings helps Clients to understand themselves and this helps them to convey their honest truth in a non-threatening manner.

I was trained in NVC and have used it with clients since 2009.