Codependency

Codependency is not an official mental illness, but it is a term that many people identify with. I help clients based on the definition created by the author and codependency expert Pia Mellody. She defines it as having difficulty with: - experiencing appropriate levels of self-esteem - setting functional boundaries - owning our own reality - acknowledging and meeting our own needs and wants and being interdependent with others - experiencing and expressing our reality moderately

Do you struggle with interpersonal boundaries either finding yourself with no boundaries getting hurt often or putting up walls and feeling the pain of isolation? Do you find that you hold resentment, have distorted/nonexistent spirituality, avoid reality (e.g. through addictions), or have a hard time with sustaining intimacy with others? I provide a safe, nurturing environment where we can gently explore these areas to create new experiences with oneself and one’s past.

Many people grow up in a chaotic home environment where healthy boundaries did not exist and where you were forced to be hypervigilant in order to keep the peace, maintain harmony, or appease a violent or unpredictable authority figure. As a result you struggle with maintaining your boundaries as an adult. Perhaps you constantly put others' needs before your own, are stretched too thin and become resentful, and you don't know where you end and others begin. I can help.

Conflict most frequently surfaces when one partner begins to define their identity outside of the relationship which is a necessary and healthy transition. However, this can feel threatening when codependency is a prominent element in the relationship. I work with couples to develop strategies to increase their sense of safety within the relationship and empower them to further develop their autonomy and sense of self within the relationship.

Are you drawn into the same kinds of patterns in relationships over and over? Do you give yourself away, with little left over for you? Do you find your relationships exciting at first, and then unfulfilling eventually? Do you find yourself in relationships with people who are abusive, narcissistic, addictive, or manipulative in some way? Do you like to have control, but wish someone else could take over for you? Do you feel hungry for love, but unsure how to get it? If so, please reach out.

The way that I engage with people around codependency, which is a confusing term, is that it leads us to want to control other people's emotions so that in turn, we feel better (i.e. I don't want him/her/them to be mad, so I won't say anything). Putting others' emotions and needs ahead of our own is something that is also sanctioned by society. Working on codependency doesn't mean that we start offending others either. It's a gentle journey into boundary setting and communication.

Feel like the world is too much on your own? Leaning to heavy on others and struggling to establish boundaries? Do you need someone to hold you accountable and help you break free of toxic relationship patterns? Let me help you carve out a healthy path that feels right to you.

Often times if a person has a low self-esteem, they will take on a relationship and try to earn their partner’s respect through sacrificing. Although this may work in the short term, in the long term, it will leave a person unsatisfied and feeling depressed. Until a fundamental shift occurs, these types of patterns are likely to continue. I can help better understand these dynamics and challenge you to do better.

I have extensive experience treating codependency. A large amount of people find themselves struggling with feelings of responsibility for the needs, wants and feelings, of the people around them. These same people struggle with guilt when they see to their own needs, attempt to set boundaries, or try to put themselves first. I work to help a client see themselves as a priority and let go of carrying the world on their shoulders.

Are you the one who always takes care of everything? Have you had to do things for yourself most of your life? "Codependency" is a big word that doesn't have to involve substance abuse. Ironically, its most common subjects describe themselves as "independent." If thinking about someone else's problems occupies more of your time than you'd like, let's talk.

Co-dependency is so absolutely destructive in our lives. In my 20+ years of my own co-dependency recovery and helping others navigate through co-dependence, I am confident that understanding the roots of your codependency, how it impacts your relationships on a daily basis and finding recovery, might be the most impactful work that you can do as an adult.

Jordan helps clients move from painful and draining codependence to a nourishing balance of inter- and independence. Knowledgeable in both 12-step and other recovery networks, Jordan works with her clients to find appropriate support and explore the root cause of codependency.

It's hard to fault someone for being compassionate, caring or kind. Often, others prey or take advantage of our kindness and giving spirit. Unknowingly, we give away our power and feel helpless. Learn how to regain your sense of self-respect, security, and independence. I utilize CBT and EMDR therapy to rewire the brain. When we change our thoughts, it changes how we feel, thus altering our actions. Through the therapy process, we find our true identity.

Relationships are many things: and complex is one of them. It can take active effort for us to notice patterns we may be playing out in our friendships, romantic connections, situationships, and even in our work relationships that may be harming us, or not inline with the person we'd like to be. The good news is that noticing is the first step! Together, we can explore where these patterns come from, and how you imagine they could be different. Small shifts can create big change.

Codependency is getting needs met by meeting the needs of others. While this may not sound so bad at first, this pattern has the potential to cause wreckage in our personal experience in relationships, our career, etc. Counseling around codependent behaviors focuses on identifying my clients needs and supporting my client in getting their own needs met.